I find few things more telling than someone’s preference in pizza crust. Even more telling is their preference when it comes to frozen pizza crust. Unlike restaurants, which typically only have one of two styles of crust, the freezer section of your grocery store is full of endless possibilities.
From crispy thin to Detroit style, you can have whatever your heart desires. And when it comes to frozen pizzas, everyone knows DiGiorno is king (although, we have a few other suggestions too). Here is every style of DiGiorno pizza crust and what your affinity for it tells me about your personality.
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You’re someone who doesn’t like to rock the boat. This type of crust is what you grew up with and it’s what you’re going to stick with for the rest of forever. There may be something better out there, but, hey, the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t. You never ask to modify a dish at restaurants and you will do anything to avoid having to speak to someone on the phone.
You will try anything once (or at least that’s what the YOLO inner lip tattoo that you got in high school implies). Experiences are more important than their outcomes to you. You’re the life of the party and the first person your friends call when they need a +1 to something wild. You agreed to go to EDC with a friend you made on TikTok that you’d never met in real life. You are unpredictable, chaotic, and, most importantly, fun!
You are all about getting stuff done and are incredibly efficient. And, don’t get me wrong, you can have fun! That fun just has to be coordinated, scheduled, and have a spreadsheet containing all the info about how the fun will be had, how much the fun costs, who is invited to the fun, etc. You have never known spontaneity, but you were able to coordinate a week-long trip to Barcelona on a budget for your entire squad. Everyone should spend less time joking about you being rigid and more time appreciating you for your incredible ability to plan. All that said, I might be biased because this is me.
You lived in New York for a few years while you went to NYU and now you are a massive pizza snob. You scoff at anyone who likes Dominos or California Pizza Kitchen. While you’re upset that you’re eating a frozen pizza at all, you allow it because it’s what your friends have on hand for movie night. You will, however, let everyone know that you don’t think this is “real pizza.”
Your high school-aged kids are out for the night, your husband is on a business trip, and you have your Dallas McMansion all to yourself. You bust out a thin crust frozen pizza because you want to go wild and this is your definition of wild. You’re pairing this with a glass of white wine and a pint of your favorite “guilt-free” ice cream. Fun!
You actually know something about pizza but aren’t an asshole about it. This kind of quiet confidence permeates your life. You’re from an interesting but unpretentious city like Detroit or Montreal. You don’t keep up with music, but you’ve always just happened to be into really good bands, like Rilo Kiley and Yeah Yeah Yeahs. You’re so effortlessly cool and, to make it even worse, you’re super super nice!
You are gluten-free.
Everyone knows that a regular-sized Digiorno Pizza is a personal pizza. There is only one reason to purchase a “personal” Digiorno and that is if you only have access to a microwave. Whether you’re a nurse working the night shift or a gamer dude who lives in a studio apartment, you do not have access to an oven and that is why you have opted for one of these way-too-tiny pizzas.
