BuzzBallz! You’ve seen them bobbling on the shelves at your local grocery or liquor store, shining bright like Christmas ornaments that are too drunk to know it’s nowhere near the Yuletide. These little cocktail balls (you can read more about what exactly BuzzBalls are in our explainer) come in a range of flavors and colors. They’re a fun alternative to canned cocktails in terms of form factor—but are they any good?
Let me just cut to the chase and say, yes. BuzzBallz are way better than I thought they would be. I thought they were all packaging, no flavor. I mean, they look like bath toys. And BuzzBallz? Look at all those Zs. Come on. But of the 13 BuzzBallz flavors we tried, I would happily drink nine of them again. And I’d actively seek out three of them.
I’ve tasted a lot of bottled and canned cocktails, both for work and for pleasure, so I like to think I know what I’m talking about when it comes to premade drinks. I look for fresh flavors (I know no limes were actually harmed in the making of these drinks, but they should make me believe real fruits were used). And I also want pretty much any cocktail I drink to actually taste like some booze. I feel like if you’re interested in winding down with a cocktail, then you should be interested in the interplay between fruit juices or other ingredients and the flavors of booze. If you want to drink, you should appreciate the flavors of an actual drink. I’m not saying you need to drink straight Martinis or Manhattans. But you should want your Margaritas to taste like a mix of tequila and sweetener and lime juice—not like pure juice.
Sorry, I’ll get down off my alcohol soapbox. Anyway. Back to Buzzballz. We tasted 12 BuzzBallz flavors in search of the very best BuzzBallz flavors. And then I ranked them from worst (like, just don’t bother) to best (spring for the big ball it’s so good). Here are 13 BuzzBallz flavors, ranked.
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- BuzzBallz Lotta Colada
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A Pina Colada is made with cream of coconut, yes, but there’s also pineapple juice. And this BuzzBallz flavor missed that ingredient. It tastes like spiked coconut cream and that’s it. There’s no acidity to balance everything out. It’s just sweet, coconutty vodka.
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- BuzzBallz Forbidden Apple
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BuzzBallz’s take on an Appletini is shockingly bland. It’s tart and chemically with only the faintest trace of apple juice. The best BuzzBallz flavors left an impression. But I practically forgot this one the moment I put it down.
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- BuzzBallz Choc Tease
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I am thankful that this isn’t one of the best BuzzBallz flavors, because it means I don’t have to ever utter the words “Choc Tease” out loud again. That said, it’s certainly not the worst of all the BuzzBallz flavors. It sorta tastes like cold, spiked Swiss Miss. If that sounds appetizing to you, then please, be my guest and loudly request a Choc Tease from your local liquor provider.
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- BuzzBallz Peachballz
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This tastes like the start of a cocktail. It tastes like a concentrate you’re supposed to mix with sparkling water. It’s extremely sweet and syrupy. But I do give BuzzBallz credit for genuinely channeling the flavor of peach nectar. It’s just way, way too saccharine for me. If you do buy it, be sure to at least pour it over ice for some dilution.
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- BuzzBallz Pineapple Jalapeno
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You might know this by now, but I don’t love sweet cocktails. That doesn’t mean that I don’t like some sweetness in my drinks, though. There needs to be a balance. And this BuzzBallz flavor is lacking in the sweetness department. It tastes of unripe pineapple and grassy jalapeno pepper. I like the flavors, honestly, but there needs to be more sweetness to level out all those sharp, zesty notes.
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- BuzzBallz Passionfruit Martini
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If they named this BuzzBallz flavor something different—like Tropi-Tini or BeachBallz—it’d probably land higher on our list of all the BuzzBallz flavors, ranked. But since passionfruit is in the name, I have to judge it on it’s passionfruity-ness. And there is none. It tastes like coconut and some unnamed tropical fruit. In all honesty, it’s pretty good. It tastes like the punch you get handed on a boat you get on to go snorkeling (a reference we can all relate to). But it lacks passionfruit’s signature tang and zip and depth.
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- BuzzBallz Horchata
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We often say that spiced products taste like the inside of a Christmas shop. It’s not a good thing. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. It is merely the description of a product that tastes very, very spiced with things like nutmeg and cinnamon. This BuzzBallz flavor is one such product. It’s creamy. It’s sweet. And they threw the holiday spice cabinet at it. Personally, it’s a bit too much for me. I wouldn’t be able to drink that much of it. But Good Mythical Morning cast member and occasional Sporked taste tester Emily Fleming loved the stuff. If you, too, are an Emily, then this is the best BuzzBallz flavor for you, especially when the holidays come around.
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- BuzzBallz Watermelon Smash
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Watermelon flavored things mostly end up just tasting like watermelon Jolly Ranchers, but this BuzzBallz flavor is surprisingly tangy and tart. Yes, it’s also sweet and definitely watermelony in that faux watermelon way. But the acidity actually keeps you coming back, sip after sip.
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- BuzzBallz Chili Mango
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There’s mango. There’s heat. It’s really good. You could pour this rich and tangy BuzzBallz flavor into a Tajin-rimmed glass with some ice and everyone would think you carried it all the way from a fast casual restaurant. It’s not quite cocktail bar quality. But I’d be super happy if I got this cocktail at a Chili’s.
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- BuzzBallz Tequila Rita
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Some of the best BuzzBallz flavors are Ritas, starting with this one. It tastes like lime concentrate in the best way possible. It’s tangy and not too sweet. As is the case with so many premade Margaritas, I wish I could taste the tequila a little bit more. But still, I love how zesty it is.
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- BuzzBallz Cran Blaster
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This was the most polarizing of all the BuzzBallz flavors we tried. It’s rich and dark and so tangy. It tastes like a Vodka Cranberry made with fancy, fresh, barely sweetened cranberry juice. I love it. Count it among the BuzzBallz flavors I will be purchasing again. But others were not so keen on how tart and tangy it is. If you love that tang, like I do, then this is the best BuzzBallz flavor around.
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- BuzzBallz Strawberry Rita
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Another Rita! It tastes like Strawberry Margarita mix—but good Strawberry Margarita mix. It’s fruity and tangy and boozy as heck, which helps cut through the fruitiness. Seriously, it tastes like summer. I know a lot of folks won’t be into our number one pick because they don’t like the flavor of coffee. If you’re one of those folks, then stop here. This is the best BuzzBallz flavor.
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- BuzzBallz Espresso Martini
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I thought I would crack this BuzzBallz and pour out something super sweet and creamy. But this is a real, honest-to-goodness craft Espresso Martini. It’s right up there with some of the best canned Espresso Martinis (stay tuned for an update of that list with this one not far from the top). It’s roasty and smooth and not too sweet at all. It tastes just as good as anything you’d get in your neighborhood cocktail bar. I even detect a hint of orange zest. Pour this into a Martini glass or a coupe and everyone will think you made it from scratch. This is the best BuzzBallz flavor, hands down.
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Lotta Colada
Forbidden Apple
Choc Tease
Peachballz
Pineapple Jalapeno
Passionfruit Martini
Horchata
Watermelon Smash
Chili Mango
Tequila Rita
Cran Blaster
Strawberry Rita
Espresso Martini
Thoughts? Questions? Complete disagreement? Leave a comment!