If You’re Over 18, You Should Be Eating Milanos, Not Oreos

I rarely hear people talk about Milano cookies. I never see articles written on popular food blogs about the new seasonal Milano flavors. Never has a Milano been offered to me at a party. People don’t consider Milanos “cool” because people don’t think about Milanos at all. In my opinion, though, you’re missing out if you are not buying Milanos: the sexier, more adult Oreo.

Milanos and Oreos are both sandwich cookies with light, creme-filled centers. Both have a crunchy outside and creamy inside. They are both mass-produced by major dessert corporations. Needless to say, however, Milanos lack the massive cult following that Oreo has been able to secure and I genuinely have no idea why. 

To be clear, I love Oreos. I would guess that I have eaten hundreds of thousands of them in my lifetime. They taste great, they are super affordable, and they are a classic treat. This is not about dissing Oreo. They are America’s favorite cookie! This is about shining a light on an underrated sandwich cookie that is just as good but a little fancier.

Milanos are for the mature. The way I think about it, an Oreo is like a girlfriend, but a Milano is like a wife. It’s just more grown-up and best enjoyed by the seasoned cookie eater who is ready to take that next step in their life. Their delicate texture and subtle flavor may be lost on some but will hit home with anyone interested in making a commitment to a more refined cookie.

In Italian, “Milano” refers to something of or from the city of Milan. If you know anything about the city of Milan, you know that it is a beacon of fashion and sophistication. All this makes sense because the cookie is reminiscent of something you’d get at a chic little European cafe. One where you sit outside and the waiters never ask how you’re doing.

Like Oreos, Milanos come in all types of flavors. Orange, mint, and dark chocolate sea salt are my personal favorites, but I encourage you to go on a Milano flavor journey of your own. Unlike Oreos, they do not have an artificial flavor or chemical aftertaste. They are light and buttery and taste homemade.

Even the packaging feels sophisticated. The sleek, tall bag features pictures of the cookies gently set next to ingredients like chocolate shavings, flaky salt, and orange zest. The cookies come sitting in pairs in thin, white paper cups. Each duo looks like a gift cradled in tissue paper when you remove it from the bag. And, in a way, they are a gift.

When I eat a Milano, my living room becomes a study and my Target robe becomes a housecoat. I am no longer an internet writer. I am a writer writer. Suddenly, I am 100% more interesting, classy, and accomplished when I’m sucking down thirty Milanos on my hand-me-down couch while watching House Hunters International

Don’t abandon Oreos. They are tasty and fun and have been there for you your entire life. Just know that when you’re ready to add some elevated elegance to your cookie routine, Milanos are waiting in a variety of assorted flavors.


About the Author

Jordan Myrick

Jordan is an L.A.-based writer and comedian who believes all food should come with extra sauce. When they're not writing for Sporked, Jordan is at the movies or sharing an order of french fries with their elderly chihuahua.