BeatBox beverages are known for a few things—they’re low sugar, low carb, low cal, and not carbonated. But you probably know them best for their packaging. BeatBox flavors come in resealable boxes—like the kind coconut water comes in. And the boxes are extremely bright and colorful and covered in little illustrations. BeatBoxes are here to party.
Before we get into what these little recyclable boxes of booze taste like, let’s talk about what exactly goes into them. BeatBox beverages are made with wine-based alcohol or malt-based alcohol. All of the flavors we tried are 11.1% ABV (that’s twice as boozy as a standard beer). They’re all vegan. And they’re sweetened with a mix of cane sugar, sucralose, and stevia.
But are they all good? I sat down with my colleague Emily Fleming to try nine different BeatBox flavors and determine the very best BeatBox flavor of them all. Here they are, nine BeatBox drinks ranked from nope to yes, please!
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- Juicy Mango BeatBox
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Let me start by saying there are some really good BeatBox drink flavors. We’ll get to them in a bit. But this is not one of them. It’s just a mess. I don’t know what it tastes like—certainly not mango. It tastes like fake fruit flavor and grain alcohol. It’s tart. It’s confusing. I’m not a fan. There are way better BeatBox drinks out there.
Credit: Merc / Total Wine
- Pink Lemonade BeatBox
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Do you want good hard lemonade? We tasted a bunch of them and ranked them. You find them in that link. And you won’t see this one in the mix. It tastes like grain alcohol mixed with Crystal Light. And while I’ve certainly “enjoyed” that cocktail in my time, it’s not something I’m interested in “enjoying” again.
Credit: Merc / Total Wine
- Peach Punch BeatBox
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I like the idea of this flavor. You don’t see a lot of boozy peachy drinks on the market. Unfortunately, it doesn’t follow through in execution. It tastes like liquid sour peach candy at best. But really, the more I sipped, the more it tasted like tangerine rather than any sort of stone fruit. This definitely isn’t one of the worst BeatBox flavors but it’s far too acidic and doesn’t taste enough like peach to be one of the best BeatBox flavors.
Credit: Merc / Total Wine
- Green Apple BeatBox
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While the Peach Punch BeatBox was way too tart, this one is way too sweet. It tastes like super sweet apple juice. Actually, it’s sweeter than that. This tastes like one of those caramel apple lollipops—but without any of the tartness. Like the Peach Punch, it’s not terrible, but it’s certainly not the best BeatBox flavor.
Credit: Merc / Total Wine
- Fresh Watermelon BeatBox
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I was skeptical of this BeatBox. Calling itself Fresh Watermelon? Bold move. But while it smells like artificial watermelon, it actually does taste like real watermelon. Specifically, it tastes like real watermelon mixed with real cucumber. It’s sweet and a little vegetal. I know BeatBox beverages are already boozy, but I think this is the best BeatBox flavor to mix with even more alcohol. Shake this up with some Hendricks Gin (which is flavored with cucumber and rose) and fresh lime juice and you’ll have yourself a good time. I also think this would be the best BeatBox flavor to freeze.
Credit: Merc / Total Wine
- Fruit Punch BeatBox
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This tastes like Hawaiian Punch (the neon red stuff advertised by the kid who’s constantly threatening violence) in the best way possible. It isn’t nearly as syrupy sweet as you might imagine. No, it doesn’t taste like something a grown-up should drink, but it does taste like something your inner kid would like…but with booze.
Credit: Merc / Total Wine
- Hard Tea BeatBox
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Beatbox Hard Tea really tastes like sweet black tea! It’s truly impressive. Yes, you can definitely taste the alcohol, but that tea flavor is so good you can easily ignore it. There’s a touch of artificial lemon flavor—but not too much. Honestly, this tastes better to me than many canned non-alcoholic teas. It’s definitely the best BeatBox flavor if you’re looking for an alternative to fruity booze.
Credit: Merc / Total Wine
- Cranberry Dreams BeatBox
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I’m a sucker for cranberry drinks. When I first started ordering drinks at bars, my go-to was a gin and soda, splash of cran. That tart, tannic flavor works so well with even the cheapest of booze. And this BeatBox flavor tastes like real cranberry cocktail. It’s deep and tangy and rich. And it’s not too sweet at all. Essentially, this is a juice box for grown-ups. And isn’t that the point of BeatBox beverages?
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- Tropical Punch BeatBox
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This is the best BeatBox flavor out of all the BeatBox drinks we tried. It tastes like pineapple juice with a tropical undertone I can’t quite put my finger on—like coconut or guava. It’s really crisp and fairly understated for being a cocktail in a loudly colorful juice box. It’s like a less coconutty, more pineapple-y Pina Colada. It’s extremely drinkable and super refreshing. Enjoy it as is or freeze the heck out of it. Both Emily and I were really blown away by it. If you’re considering trying any of the BeatBox drinks out there, make it this one.
Credit: Merc / Total Wine
Juicy Mango
Pink Lemonade
Peach Punch
Green Apple
Fresh Watermelon
Fruit Punch
Hard Tea
Cranberry Dreams
Tropical Punch
Thoughts? Questions? Complete disagreement? Leave a comment!