Our Honest Review of the New “Cocktail Mate” Espresso Martini Mixers

There’s two new Coffee Mate flavors vying to be your go-to cocktail mixer this holiday season: “Cocktail Mate” Espresso Martini mixers, which come in both a regular and creamier “crème” version. Coffee Mate’s pitch is simple: They want to offer a convenient, affordable, shelf-stable mixer with their signature touch. Sounds easy, but can they pull it off? 

From dirty soda to orange creamsicle, we’ve been trying new Coffee Mate creamer flavors all year long. Obviously, Coffee Mate knows the secret to an incredible coffee creamer. We’d never contest that. But do they know enough mixology to really earn a bartending license? While I’m a huge fan of “Cocktail Mate” as a cute pun (I love puns, and I’m not ashamed to admit it), I’m a little skeptical that these will deliver a robust coffee bean flavor. Both Espresso Martini mixers are exclusively available at Cub Foods and BevMo, so I grabbed both of them to try. Let’s see if these new Coffee Mate flavors can brew up something worth the buzz.


Cocktail Mate Crème Espresso Martini

New Product

Cocktail Mate Crème Espresso Martini (Non-Alcoholic Mixer)

Let’s start with the crème version, because honestly? We should end this article on a happier note. 

Pros: As a fan of cream liqueurs like Baileys and Rumchata, I’m definitely on board with the concept of a creamier Espresso Martini mix. But Cocktail Mate’s Crème Espresso Martini mix simply tastes like a canned latte, which means they didn’t really understand the assignment.

Cons: The extra creaminess dilutes the actual coffee flavor, which already isn’t bold to begin with. Add liquor to that, and you’ll barely taste any coffee, period. Plus, the “crème” carries a funky, off-putting finish, probably thanks to all the milk solids in the ingredients. It doesn’t taste fresh, creamy, or cozy, just borderline expired. I’m sorry, but it’s true!!

Credit: Liv Averett

Rating:

3/10

Sporks

Cocktail Mate Espresso Martini

New Product!

Cocktail Mate Espresso Martini (Non-Alcoholic Mixer)

Okay, Cocktail Mate. We’ve started from the bottom, and now we’re here. Slightly above the bottom. Let’s break it down.

Pros: This regular Espresso Mmartini mix is definitely the better of the two new Coffee Mate flavors. You can actually taste the coffee, and there’s no strange aftertaste from the cream. For a $6.99 Espresso Martini mixer, I can see the appeal of opting for this more affordable product.

Cons: To me, this just tastes like cheap iced coffee that’s been sitting out for too long. Maybe that sounds a little scathing, but hey, I drink cheap iced coffee that’s been sitting out for too long on the regular. The espresso itself is very weak and not fresh-tasting. There’s no nuance or underlying flavor notes of which to speak. Again, I think as a cheap alternative to a craft cocktail at a nice bar, this will do in a pinch—but other than that, I can’t recommend it. (Again, I’m sorry!!!) 

Credit: Liv Averett

Rating:

4.5/10

Sporks


About the Author

Ariana Losch

Ariana Losch is a Sporked contributor, webcomic writer, java junkie, and bad TV enthusiast. She only ever feels at peace laying out on a beach like a kebab, roasting in the sun; sadly, she can never move back to Florida, her home state, because there simply isn’t enough good Mediterranean food. You can find her overstaying her welcome at just about every LA coffee shop, working on a screenplay and avoiding all eye contact. (She is embarrassed to be there, please leave her alone.)

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