Hey, everybody. I’m Jessica Block and we’re rolling out, looking for the grocery store’s greatest Guy Fieri frozen meals. This trip: Guy Fieri is back with four new attempts to conquer the subtle art of frozen food cookery after his first attempts took a bit of a ~dive~ in our review. That is to say, the four Guy Fieri frozen meals the Sporked team taste tested late last year—his Cheesy Chicken Enchilada Bowl, Sweet & Sour Pork Bowl, Sloppy Joe Mac & Cheese, and Cheesy Lasagna with Pepperoni Marinara Sauce—were not his best work (one even got 0/10 Sporks!). But apparently, our Guy doesn’t stay down for long, because he’s back at it.
While we don’t yet know if these new Guy Fieri Flavortown frozen meals will be better than their predecessors because we have yet to try them, we can only hope that these four new frozen dishes will be good enough to make me drive to my local store, pick up a few, and dive in and dine on them in the comfort of my own home. Did guy Fiery DDDo it? The jury is still out, but read on to see what we know.
Will this round of Guy Fieri frozen meals finally take us to the promised land, aka Flavortown? What dishes did Guy attempt this time? Will he rain (Guy) Fieri vengeance upon us if we are still not picking up what he is putting down?
Let’s start with the first question, the answer being, “Gosh we sure hope so!” We are Guy fans over here and really do want his stuff to be good. Dazzle us, Guy! We just want to be dazzled!
The four new frozen meals appear to be Fieri-fied takes on classic American bar foods…with an Italian twist. Our frosted-tipped friend is releasing Chili Cheese Dog Loaded Tots, Beef Taco Pasta, Buffalo Chicken Pasta, and Cheesy Lasagna with Chicken. That’s a lot to take in, so allow us to tell you how each is described on their respective boxes. The Loaded Tots are “potato tots and sliced hot dogs smothered in beef chili and nacho cheese sauce.” The Beef Taco Pasta is “seasoned taco meat and fettuccine mixed with bell peppers, cheese, and a creamy chipotle sauce,” and I have absolutely no frame of reference for what that could taste like other than chili-mac-adjacent pasta. The Buffalo Chicken Pasta will be “marinated chicken breast with fettuccine smothered in a creamy Buffalo-style sauce,” so…pasta with Buffalo wing sauce. And lastly, the lasagna is “cheesy lasagna rolls stuffed with breaded chicken in a marinara sauce,” so basically if manicotti, lasagna, and chicken parm had a baby with frosted tips and the world’s (objectively) coolest sunglasses.
Like I said, not quite as diverse an array of cuisines as last time, but hey, last time his pepperoni lasagna was one of the only ones we thought was sort of almost passable, so perhaps Italian-American bar food fusion is his sweet spot. We really hope it is.
These new Guy Fieri frozen meals should be available now at your local Walmart, so get out there and try them if you are feeling adventurous, and let us know how Guy did this time if you get to them before we do!
