On today’s cruelty-free episode of Good Mythical Morning, Rhett & Link set out to find which vegan jerky makes them “want to twerky.” The pair ranked six vegan jerkies on a scale from “Vegan-Ing to Regret My Life Choices” to “Yes! Ve-Gan!” Rhett explained that they tried to pick jerkies that came closest to replicating regular meat jerky (or was somewhere in the vicinity of regular meat jerky). The two worked through the lore of each vegan jerky—apparently, each vegan jerky has a story—and ranked all six.
- Vegan-Ing to Regret My Life Choices
Primal Spirit – Texas Barbecue Jerky -
Rhett & Link had differing opinions about the smell of this jerky from Primal Spirit. “It smells not so great,” Rhett said. Link thought it was harder on the eyes than on the ol’ nostrils, saying, “It looks scarier than it smells.” Thankfully, this non-meat strip had some virtues. “It’s very chewy in a good way,” Link said. At the beginning of the taste test, Rhett felt confident about this vegan jerky strip and placed it in the fourth spot (after moving it from second place initially). But as the guys tasted more jerky, this one kept getting demoted until it landed in the sixth-place spot. Poor Primal Spirit.
- Ve-Gan, but Ve Don’t Want To
BeLeaf – Spicy Flavored Vegan Jerky -
“This looks like a fire starter,” Link said when he saw BeLeaf’s jerky. The jerky itself plopped out of the bag in big chunks. Rhett appreciated the consistency, and Link liked the flavor. “It’s very sweet and then spicy,” Link managed to say through the burn. Ultimately, it landed in the fifth spot.
- Ve-Blan…D
Noble Jerky – Sweet BBQ -
“Tastes like spaghetti sauce,” Rhett said after his first bite, and that ruined the taste for Link. The pair had a hard time agreeing on whether or not the jerky had a wet quality to it, but Link gushed about its texture. “The consistency is the most meat-like we have tasted today, hands down,” he said, putting his hands down. But Rhett didn’t like how sweet and wet it was. Link placed this one in the fourth spot.
- I Might Try This Ve-Gain
Beyond Meat – Hot & Spicy -
Rhett noted that this mung bean-based jerky was the only jerky in the taste test that isn’t made of soy. He praised its “meat-like consistency” and “meat-like flavor,” after taking his first bite. “This is the superior texture,” Link said, comparing it to the others they’d tried earlier in the tasting. Unfortunately, it was lacking in the flavor department. Rhett & Link decided that Beyond Meat’s Hot & Spicy vegan jerky would place third based on texture but not much else.
- As Good as Sir Vegan McKellen (Quite Good)
It’s Jerky Y’all – Prickly Pear Chipotle -
Rhett & Link were joined by doomsday prepper Otis Jeremiah Timothee Chalamet Malachy to taste this vegan prickly pear jerky. Link noted its “fingerling style,” which was similar to another of the jerkies they’d tried in the line up. “It’s not bad and it’s spicy,” Rhett noted. The trio agreed that It’s Jerky Y’all’s prickly pear jerky is good, but not good enough to take the top spot. This one landed in second place.
- Yes! Ve-Gan!
Louisville Vegan Jerky Co. – Smoky Carolina BBQ -
Before tasting this Carolina BBQ-flavored jerky, Link astutely noted that the brand was nodding to the mustard element in the barbecue flavoring. After pouring some jerky bits out of the bag, he announced, “This looks like a moist seasoned fry that’s like four days old,” and boy did it ever. Rhett was into the flavor right away. “This has got a lot of flavor. WOW,” he said after his first bite. It exceeded his vegan-jerky expectations. Rhett placed it in the number one spot.
