Unbeknownst to many, August did exist before the 2020 release of Taylor Swift’s “Folklore.” It’s summer’s last hurrah, and Trader Joe’s is helping the season go out with a bang. Amidst everyone else’s full-fledged back-to-school promos, good ol’ Trader Joe’s is offering up new products that taste a whole lot better than composition notebooks, and don’t throw us into a panic as we remember the horror of finding that the summer reading books aren’t on SparkNotes.
- Ranch Seasoned Cashews
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Ranch is legendary. Show us another food that can make raw celery palatable, divides a nation as a pizza topping, and partners with Buffalo wings to dethrone Romeo and Juliet as an iconic pairing. Combined with the irresistibly crunchy-yet-creamy cashew, ranch is making its way to charcuterie boards, trail mixes, and handfuls everywhere. Between the tang of powdered sour cream and buttermilk, pop of onion and garlic powders, and addictive texture of cashews, this brilliant concoction is murdering breath but killing the snack game nationwide.
- Everything But The Kitchen Sink Cookie Mix
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For anyone who thinks that mix-ins are the best part of the cookie, this one’s for you. For anyone that thinks otherwise, take your toxic behavior elsewhere. TJ’s is continuing their success streak with their “Everything But The…” products with this new cookie mix. Just a stick of butter and an egg stands between you and a batch of complex, crunchy, sweet, salty, exciting cookies. This new mix is so jammed with extras like chocolate chunks, oats, walnuts, coconut flakes, caramel bits, and mini pretzels, that we were half expecting to find the answers to the questions of life, but our therapists keep saying that we have to “look within ourselves,” and that “rewatching The Boys does not count as therapy.”
- Coffee Mochi
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You’ve been sweating for two months straight and your iced coffee just isn’t cold enough anymore. This coffee mochi ice cream from Trader Joe’s really is a slam dunk. The ice cream takes care of your coffee fix and the cocoa-flavored mochi coating keeps it portable and relatively mess-free.
- Crunchy Chili Onion Sprinkle Seasoning Blend
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Raise your hand if you’ve ever thrown a jar of oily chili crisp into your bag, only to find it leaked through the multiple layers of plastic you wrapped it in. Not that you mind everything smelling and tasting like the delicious spread, but the real tragedy is that now you’re stuck with bland food for the rest of the day. Enter this new Trader Joe’s product: a more travel-friendly version of those same flavors we love. Onion, garlic, dried bell pepper, chili pepper flakes, brown sugar, and dried Szechuan pepper? Pack your bags, you’re comin’ with us.
- Chicken Sausage Breakfast Bowl
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When you realize that you need to be at work 10 minutes ago, quick dishes like this new frozen Trader Joe’s breakfast are a lifesaver. Just three minutes in the microwave is all you need to get a hearty breakfast of chicken sausage, scrambled eggs, and cheese. It’s a true balanced breakfast—mostly because you’re trying to balance it on your lap while you’re driving to work. Maybe try just five alarm snoozes instead of seven next time.
Thoughts? Questions? Complete disagreement? Leave a comment!